Chapter 4:
Chapter 4 focused on different aspects of relationships. Ranging from identifying abusive traits in a partner to techniques to becoming a better listener. What stood out to me in this chapter was Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love. It was interesting to see the keys to a healthy relationship put into the three categories of commitment, passion, and intimacy. Sometimes it can be difficult to identify problems in a relationship and pin point where the disconnect is actually happening. At least working on those three major components you can rule out if those areas are where the issue is.
This relates to my aspect of eating better and losing weight because examining a relationship is a lot like examining your life style. It requires key components to be effective and yield results. What gets measured gets managed and in order to maintain my new life style and reach my weight loss goals I need to make sure that all aspects of my new life style are being managed and cared for.
Another part of this chapter that jumped out at me was when it covered was mindful listening. As the aspect of mindfulness stood out to me in previous chapters, I was not surprised to be interested in mindful listening. When better listening techniques were discussed I had noticed I was doing the opposite quite frequently. Like trying to think of how the story related to me as it was told instead of listening to exactly what they were saying, not asking for clarification, and thinking about what I wanted to say next before they were done speaking. I feel my relationships and first impressions with people would greatly improve and add more value to the relationship if I demonstrated these tactics as most people these days are so used to being all over the place mentally and not being in the moment giving undivided attention. I am certainly guilty of this behavior at times.
The last part of chapter 4 that I connected with was the steps for conflict resolution. Overall I found the steps somewhat obvious. Identify the problem, come up with different possible solutions, figure out who will do what to carry out the plan. However, the last step was something equally obvious but I had never thought of it. Following up and seeing how the solution is working. It sounds obvious after reading it but I have definitely taken all the previous steps, then the solution ends up not working out and I had either given up or moved on. I had never thought about the fact that you can step back, adjust, and try again. I suppose being part of this throw away generation I am not entirely different from my age group. But putting my self in the mindset of picking up the pieces and trying again fills me with a sense of hope and inspiration to keep trying with everything in life. With my music clients following up was something I did from the start. Most repeat business or initial first business with a client comes from the 10th to 12th follow up. This is why most people fail as they try 1-3 times to follow up then simply give up.
Chapter 5:
Chapter 5 revolved around sexual health, birth control, and all things reproductive. I am a father to a almost two year old boy and it has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. It has given me a deeper sense of purpose and provided me with a responsibility that forced me to take things a bit more seriously and take action to my new found life plan/goals. It was always important to me to achieve personal goals in regards to creating a career for my self in music, graduating college, etc. but now with my own child those goals have even more value because they are not just for me anymore.
Chapter 5 talks about preparations and expectations to have when expecting a child. A child brings meaning, focus, and love into your life, but it comes with sacrifice, planning, and demands a tremendous amount of patience. Having my son has brought my abilities to levels I had not thought possible. I feel this is due to my determination to give him an incredible life as well as set an example for him that if you believe in your self and work day in and day out towards your goals, they will be achieved. But more than all of that I just want to show him love, compassion, and understanding.
Something that stood out to me from this chapter was the different forms of birth control, specifically the IUD. When my fiancé and I found out she was pregnant she was on birth control pills. As the chapter talks about pills can be ineffective if not taken correctly. I do not believe this was the case with us but it still was ineffective. The IUD, which is what we use now, is an astounding 99% effective. It can also be left in for 5 years at a time.
Chapter 6:
Chapter 6 talks about drugs and addiction. When most people hear the word addiction they immediately relate to hard drugs like cocaine, heroin, etc. This chapter focused on all forms of addiction from hard drugs, to more common drugs like marijuana, and even the most popular addictive substance caffeine. Even compulsive buying behaviors are considered to be forms of addiction. This chapter also directly related to my health aspect as compulsive eating or eating as a way to deal with pain is also an addiction. I never really ate food because I was upset, but I have found my self eating just to eat at points in my life. I have been able to cope with this bad habit through replacing what I was eating. Instead of turning to fast food or snacks I would reach for fruit, lean meats, vegetables, or anything that was not oreos or ice cream. This chapter gave me anew way to address this issue as well. Finding some other activity to replace an old one. Now when I know I just want food because I am bored or feel like there is nothing to do, I think of using my time efficiently and working towards something important in my life. For me that is going into my studio and working towards perfecting my craft. This takes my mind off of unhealthy snacks and makes me focus on bettering my skill set and furthering my career.
Something from this chapter that I connected with was some of the facts about marijuana. As a musician I have had my fair share of pot over the years. But after reading about some of the negatives I can honestly say I am considering cutting back or possibly stopping all together. It was said in this chapter that there is more tar per breath when smoking weed than cigarettes. It also mentioned that there are more carcinogens in weed smoke than cigarette smoke. As much as weed helps with my creative process and stress management, it seems like it may be in my best interest to substitute my marijuana use with something more beneficial to my health and productivity.
Progress:
Since the last chapter my progress has plateaued. I have been working more hours at my job in the warehouse which has helped burn calories and improve my overall mood and self esteem, but at the same time it has caused set backs. I have been working mostly night shifts and getting out at 12am. I am usually hungry after work and as you know it is not a good idea to eat at this time. I have not gained any weight but have also not lost any. In order to combat this I am going to try eating right before my shift and possibly having a healthy snack during break as to avoid eating too late into the night.
I have however made significant progress with my Mixing of music (mixing is basically taking the recorded tracks, adding software and processing the sounds to become polished and mixed into what you hear on a finished song) which has had a great positive impact on my self esteem and state of mind. In turn helping me to be focused and inspired to improve my methods of reaching my new eating/weight loss goals.
Here is the latest example of a Mix I was working on for a local pop punk band!
https://drive.google.com/open?id=12DDcfqHmKrjzCEAkTQVSPMmbBtWSlbcQ
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